


Liberosis

by Flamoria



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Eren Yeager, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Declarations Of Love, First Time, Love Confessions, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Stolen Moments, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), eren deserves happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23005642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamoria/pseuds/Flamoria
Summary: Liberation.That’s what Levi had given him, the one thing he had been seeking for his entire life. Eren didn’t think, he did what it was his heart told him to do, what Levi had given him the freedom to do, and flung himself towards happiness.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 12
Kudos: 295





	Liberosis

**Author's Note:**

> A retelling of one of my favorite scenes from the manga, and also the one that constantly breaks my heart the most. This is my way of giving Eren a moment of happiness that he deserves.

“So, if we kill the enemy, the one waiting for us on the other side, will we… _finally_ , be free?” Eren’s heartbroken voice dripped from his worn-out body, barely discernable over the sound of the endless crashing waves in front of them. The water lapped at his legs and feet, pulling the sand from underneath them and tugging on his toes as though trying to drag him into that abyss.

Part of him yearned for it, to be carried away, to be taken from this world so as not to be the one to make the choices that now lay in front of him. All this time, ever since he was a young boy, he had craved to see the ocean. Hours were spent lying on the grass, blades tickling his neck, as he gazed at the clouds and listened to Armin tell tales of the world outside of the walls.

Those simple times were long gone now. The enemy was no longer anything but mindless titans who were easy to kill, beasts whose slaughter left you feeling no ounce of guilt. Knowing that they had been killing people this entire time had left a heavy weight on everyone’s shoulders, however, Eren felt it the most. The memories of the past haunted him to the point where each day it became more and more difficult to discern present from past and past from the future.

_What was the truth?_

The laughter of Connie and Sasha splashing one another seemed distant, unreachable. The ocean ahead vast and unforgiving, much like the path that Eren would now have to face. The happiness that his friends were feeling around him…that was no longer a possibility for him. He knew, had known for a while, what it was he had to do. 

And yet…

_Was there another way?_

He’d run it over inside his head time and time again, barely getting much sleep the past few months. Eren didn’t want to be the monster, didn’t wish to make the choice that would place him in a whole other realm, a world in which those whom he held most dear would no longer be able to follow. He knew, in the pit of his very being, the choice that he would eventually have to make. It had been made clear to him not too long ago, however, Eren was selfish.

He wasn’t ready to leave his friends. Wasn’t ready to leave…

“Eren, are you okay?” Levi’s deep voice swirled around him, dancing over the crashing waves as it wrapped him in a comfort that not even his friends had ever been able to give him. There had always been something profound about Levi’s presence. He could calm Eren and ground him in a way no one else ever could.

“Do you think Erwin would have liked the ocean?” he asked in response, deflecting Levi’s question about his well-being.

_I’m sorry I made you choose._

“I doubt Erwin would have cared much for the ocean. He would be where you are right now, in some faraway land that we have yet to see, with our enemies.”

As always, Levi could read Eren like an open book. Without the younger man ever having to voice it, his Captain knew the guilt that he carried in his heart. At the core of it all, it had been Levi’s decision. No one would have been able to sway him one way or another. His reasoning for choosing Armin over Erwin would forever remain in the older man’s heart and it would infinitely be his own. He’d made his choice, and despite what others might think, Levi never regretted the choices that he made.

Eren blinked, the wind caressing his shoulder-length hair, wrapping him in its cool arms as though telling him that everything would be okay. Armin was ranting excitedly about something in the distance, Mikasa was calling out his name, that endless crashing drowning them out.

_I’m sorry for what I’m going to have to choose._

“You should get some rest,” Levi’s strong hand came baring down on his shoulder, dragging him back from the future and anchoring him in the present.

Eren smiled grimly and shook his head. He wanted to confess to Levi, to tell him of his restless nights spent wide awake agonizing over what was to come, crying about the deaths of his friends that were yet to pass. People often wished to know the future, thinking it would make the pain easier when the time came, but nothing would ever ease the ache in Eren’s heart.

How could it, when he was the one who would ultimately be responsible for their deaths?

_Please tell me there’s another way._

“Mm, you’re right. Are we leaving straight away in the morning? Armin will be disappointed.”

Levi’s hand moved from his shoulder to his back, warmth spreading the entire way down his spine. It hadn’t always been this way, the older man casually touching Eren in a manner that bordered intimate, but over the past few months, something had changed. Since their very first encounter, the Captain never failed in his attentiveness towards Eren, even worse at times than Mikasa, but this was… _different_.

Eren had accepted his feelings for Levi long ago, as well as the fact that they would lead to nothing. So, he did the only thing he could, buried those emotions deep inside his soul and continued to move forward. He loved his Captain, adored him in a way that he knew he would never feel about another being ever again, and with that love and adoration came the knowledge that Levi deserved better than him. In the end, he would have to hurt everyone he loved, and it would be easier to accomplish that if he retained a certain distance.

The warmth of that hand though…the way his veins lit on fire in response…

“They will all be leaving shortly. You and I will be staying a bit longer. Don’t worry about Armin so much, though. We’ll be back again soon, and he’ll have plenty of time to explore.”

Eren turned, turquoise eyes wide in shock as his heart pounded irregularly in his chest. Why would he and Levi remain behind while the rest of the Survey Corps returned home? Had they decided to execute him early? Would Levi and Hanji do that to him?

“Eren, it’s nothing bad. I promise. You need some rest before returning so I made the request to Hanji to remain behind for a while, that’s all,” Levi assured him with a soft ruffle to his unruly windswept hair.

When Levi noticed Eren visibly relax in response, he took it as his cue to leave and went to go and have a talk with Hanji. Eren sighed and shifted to gaze back at the ocean, the sun hanging high in the sky and reflecting off the water, casting a reflection that coated the waves in gold, lighting them up and making them twinkle like stars in the night sky.

It was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but it was near impossible for Eren to appreciate the beauty when he knew what lay beyond. Was it worth it to lie to himself for momentary peace? Perhaps Levi was right, Eren should get some rest.

He turned and walked out of the ocean, saltwater dripping down his legs and toes curling in the sand as he made his way to a nearby rock where he sprawled out on top of it. The combination of birds singing, waves crashing, and the sun bearing down on him was enough to lull Eren into a false sense of comfort and security.

If this were his last chance to experience such simple pleasures in life, shouldn’t he take full advantage of it? Was he allowed, even with his knowledge of the future?

The last thing Eren remembered before he drifted off to sleep was the elated laughter of his friends echoing through the air around him.

Eren awoke to the sun hanging low in a colorfully painted sky, the most vibrant hues of pink, orange, and blue dancing together to create one of the most magnificent sights he had ever seen. He sat up slowly, body and neck aching from where he had fallen asleep, eyes blinking in awe as he took in what lay stretched out in front of him.

The waves were rougher now, and in them was reflected each color from the sky, swirling and mixing together to create shades he’d never known existed. Strange animals were jumping in and out of the water and when he craned his neck forward to get a better look, he couldn’t help but let out a sound of discomfort.

He jumped in surprise when a warm hand landed on the bare skin of his nape, fingers wrapping around the area to begin gently massaging the pain away.

“I know I told you to rest but sleeping on a rock wasn’t quite what I had in mind.”

Levi increased the pressure of his hand on Eren’s neck and in response, the younger man’s entire body turned into putty, all the tension that he’d been feeling over the past few months melting away. He kept his gaze on the ocean, the sunset reflecting in his eyes, as the first genuine smile in nearly half a year crawled across his mouth.

“What if I told you it was comfortable?” he asked cheekily, subconsciously leaning into the Captain’s hand some more.

Levi stopped his massage in response, which immediately caused an embarrassing whine to slip from the younger man’s throat. Eren’s cheeks lit on fire, the intensity growing when he heard a soft chuckle come from beside him.

“Your body is telling me otherwise,” Levi said softly as he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the side of Eren’s neck. The movement was delicate, as though despite Eren’s Titan powers, Levi was afraid of breaking him.

They remained seated in that manner for a while longer, looking towards the horizon, perhaps in hope that it might bring the answers they so desperately sought. It was only after sitting for such a long period that Eren noticed there were no other noises aside from the ocean, he and Levi were alone.

“How long ago did the others leave?” he asked as he turned to look at Levi, heart nearly stopping in his chest at what greeted him.

Eren had never seen Levi appear this calm before, his silver eyes were soft, the sun kissing his face and making him glow. His midnight-black hair was slightly windswept and Eren had to do everything in his power to hold himself back from reaching forward and tucking a few strands behind his ear. There was a serene smile on his face as he returned Eren’s gaze and the younger man wanted nothing more than to etch this moment into his memories forever.

He’d thought the sunset over the ocean had been the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen in his life but this, Levi looking at him like that with the colors of the sky bathing his body, there was nothing to describe this kind of beauty. No words would ever be enough.

“Around three hours ago. Mikasa and Armin wanted to say goodbye, of course, but I told them it was best to allow you to rest. Did you think none of us have noticed?”

Eren swallowed and look away, guilt filling him up with the knowledge that they had been worried about him. He didn’t deserve their care or kindness, especially not now. He didn’t want to be a burden; didn’t want the last happy memories his friends would have of him to be filled with even an ounce of sadness.

_Would they ever forgive him, once he made the choice? Would he be deserving of forgiveness?_

“Eren, you’re far away again. Talk to me,” Levi’s voice was soft and soothing, filled with kindness and warmth that had become a familiarity over the last year of working together. His hand moved up and down Eren’s spine and although the brunet knew it was supposed to be a comforting movement, it caused his body to react in a whole different way.

Electricity ran through his veins and his fingers twitched as he held his palms in his lap, heat beginning to grow deep within the pit of his stomach. Eren shifted as he brought his hands together, wringing them nervously.

“It’s the memories…sometimes I find it difficult to remain in the present. Everything gets a little jumbled together at times…are they my memories? My fathers? Someone else’s? And then today…it was…I wanted to be able to experience what everyone else was feeling but…is it okay for someone like me to be happy?”

It wasn’t the whole truth, of course, Eren couldn’t tell anyone of that. Not even Levi. But it was enough that speaking the words out loud managed to make him feel the slightest hint of relief, as though a grain of sand had been lifted from his shoulders.

“What do you mean, someone like you?” Levi’s hand moved and found its way to Eren’s cheek, cupping it in that milky white palm as the older man turned Eren’s face towards his.

Eren could barely look Levi in the face as he spoke, shame filling him to the brim, “a monster,” he whispered, the word nearly being drowned out by waves smashing against the rock they sat upon.

Levi pursed his lips and shook his head, “do you honestly think that of yourself?”

_How could I not, knowing what the choice is that I will ultimately have to make?_

“We are what the world makes us into. Don’t look at me that way, Captain. I accepted what I was a long time ago.”

Levi brought his other hand up to caress Eren’s right cheek, holding him in place between the palms of his hands, the younger man’s reflection being shown within those silver depths. Eren wondered what it was Levi saw in him at that moment, what sort of truth it was he was seeking, and if he found the answer he was looking for.

“You’re wrong Eren. I have been alive for a long time and I have lived with the worst of the worst. I’ve looked evil in the face and I can tell you right now, that’s not what I’m looking at right now. What I see in you…”

Levi let his hands fall and sighed, tilting his head to look at the sky as the sun bled into the horizon. There were no Titans out here, no enemies from an unknown land, no Survey Corps members. There were just two men, lost and trying to find their way, doing what they could to create a better future for the world.

_There was no more need to hide._

“What I see in you is someone worth fighting for. A reason to wake up every day. I’ve lost a lot of people in the past and I’ve long learned to carry the weight of their deaths with me, to tuck it deep within my heart and move forward. With you…with you…it’s impossible for me to imagine a world without you in it. I wouldn’t know how to carry such a weight…I don’t think it would be possible for me to continue forward,” Levi’s voice was soft and he didn’t look at Eren as he spoke, the wind tickled his hair, flinging black strands around and once again the younger man found himself wanting to grab hold of it.

He’d never thought, in a million years, that Levi would be saying these words to him. He’d never even dreamed of it, thinking it too good to be true, thinking of himself as undeserving of what it was Levi had just gifted him.

_Love._

Levi moved his head to look at Eren once more and purest of smiles lit up his entire face. It made him look even younger and it broke Eren’s heart into a million pieces with the knowledge that he held the heart of humanity’s strongest in the palm of his hand.

“I love you, Eren. I’ve loved you for a long time now. I never knew how to say it, didn’t think I was deserving of someone like you, I still don’t. But…we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, how much time we have left, and I believe we have a right to whatever happiness we can manage to find. I refuse to live with the regret of never telling you how I feel.”

_Liberation._

That’s what Levi had given him, the one thing he had been seeking for his entire life. Eren didn’t think, he did what it was his heart told him to do, what Levi had given him the freedom to do, and flung himself towards happiness. The moment his lips met with Levi’s the entire world around him ceased to exist. He was no longer humanity’s hope, a Titan shifter, the person who would decide the fate of the world.

He was simply a young man in love, kissing the person who owned his heart beneath the dusky sky above him, the rippling of the water below drowning out his needy sounds as the older man reciprocated his kiss, tongue delving deep and tasting every inch of him.

He let everything go, what lay behind and what lay ahead, in favor of this moment. Levi’s hands were all over his body, creating pockets of lava beneath them as they tore off his clothes and touched his bare skin. He tilted his head back and looked towards the sky, millions of stars now stretched out above him, twinkling as if laughing along with the joy that was filling his heart to the brim.

Levi’s mouth was on his chin, his neck, his collarbones, his chest. Down, down, down. The stars exploding as pleasure filtered through his veins, hands finally finding purchase in those midnight locks, so much softer than he could have ever imagined.

“Wait here,” Levi whispered against his thigh, nipping at the skin before walking away. When he came back, he carried a blanket and a vial of oil along with him.

Eren cocked an eyebrow and grinned, body still feeling euphoric from what he had experienced moments before, “did you plan this?”

Levi smirked, “I wasn’t sure how it would go but I was hopeful. I thought there were signs in the past that you felt more but…I was never certain.”

Levi motioned for Eren to follow him and lay the blanket out on the sand, far away from the tide, using their shoes at each corner to keep it in place. Eren lay down on the blanket, hands behind his head, and watched mesmerized as Levi undressed underneath the pale moonlight.

_Magnificent._

He wanted to put a voice to those words, to verbally confirm to Levi how he felt, but the weight of what that would mean was too much for him to bear at that moment. The older man must have seen it on his face, however, for he didn’t take much time in leaning over him, fingers coated in oil, working their way inside as he whispered words of adoration and devotion against every inch of tan skin that he could reach.

It was Eren’s first time being with anyone in this way, and yet, not an ounce of uncertainty or fear entered his mind or heart. It had always been, and would always be, Levi.

_Levi._

_Levi._

_Levi._

Eren chanted his name over and over like a prayer, the feeling of the older man deep inside him enough to wash away everything that did not exist in this space they had created for themselves. As they made love beneath the stars, the future no longer scared Eren, for he would forever have this memory to carry with him.

“I love you.”


End file.
